Eating Out In Good Form

Eating Out In Good Form

(Tips and inside information on dining out)

This is not a rant so don’t worry.

Just read and you might find it helpful.

This information comes from years of working in the service industry. It is not opinion. It is based on experience, both individual and collective. It is designed to allow you to understand the system of the industry so that you can better enjoy yourself when dining out.

The Business:

I think the first and most valuable point to make is that a restaurant is a business. Its business is the service and hospitality of the community but it is a business nonetheless. One must keep this in mind before, during and after their dining experience. Respect and understanding must go both ways to ensure a good experience. If you are aware of the structure of this system and choose to operate within it, your chances of enjoying yourself are much higher.

It costs a lot of money and considerable resources to source ingredients from around the world, source various wine, liquor and beer, design an entire list of meals and drinks based on those ingredients, prepare them professionally and serve them to you, not to mention the cost of the physical structure itself. Next time you want to complain about how expensive your meal or drink is, look around and consider what it cost to make the entire restaurant available to you and put that into perspective.

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Reservations:

If you make a reservation, please have the courtesy of letting the restaurant know if you need to cancel. Understand that, especially at nicer restaurants, you are expected. A table has been prepared for you. Other reservations have been made around you. If you have a larger party, there may very well be one solitary individual waiting several hours for you to arrive because you represent his or her income for the evening. Understand that adding people to your party at the last minute can be difficult to manage, especially on busy nights. Likewise, do not make a reservation for twenty people just because you think twenty might show up. If you show up with five you run the risk of ruining somebody else’s night. Call ahead if you can to update the amount of people you know are coming. In short, understand that your actions can have profound effect on people other than yourself. 

Be prepared to wait for 10 to 15 minutes. Things don’t always go according to plan. A restaurant is a complex system and there are a million places where the schedule can be fractured. Try to be empathetic. When in doubt, call ahead and simply ask if they are running behind. If you would like to sit somewhere in particular, have an allergy, or are celebrating something, let the host know when you make your reservation.

Servers:

Most of us can agree that at its most fundamental, serving is a relatively simple job. As you get into higher volume and/ or higher priced situations, the job becomes much more complex. It is unfair and condescending to assume your server is incompetent even if they have made a mistake. In many cases they have made a mistake because they were either not set up for success by their peers or management, the kitchen made an error, the bartender made an error, the host made an error or they simply were not able to reconcile the amount of things they needed to accomplish with the short time they had available. Think about this. As I said before, a restaurant is an extremely complex system with many working parts. It only takes one thing to go wrong to disrupt the whole flow.

Between the fast pace and the fact that they are constantly put in a situation to look bad on other people’s behalf, the environment they work in can be extremely stressful. Try to be aware of this.

Some restaurants have scripted service procedures. Some do not. That does not change the fact that there is an inherent flow to the dining experience. While the server must be flexible with their guests you can derail the experience quickly by not abiding by certain guidelines. First, acknowledge your servers presence and communicate with them effectively. They cannot read your mind. Second, try to have at least an idea of what you want when you sit down so at the very least the server can make a recommendation. Do not make the server wait while you read the entire menu. Either ask for help or ask for more time. You have to realize that you are not the only people in the restaurant. If you make it easier to be served, your server can take more time going above and beyond your expectations.

Paying the bill:

            Ladies and gentleman, if you are going to fight over who pays, do not involve the server. It is extremely uncomfortable and just bad form. If you don’t want your friend to pay, give the server your credit card ahead of time or find some other subtle and civil means of doing so.

            Save yourself the trouble and let your server do the math. Believe it or not we utilize advanced computer systems now to handle business. I guarantee that we will be able to do a far more effective job of splitting the bill than five drunk women can. I’m just saying.

Note: If you do decide to do the math yourself, and you are paying with cards, do not include the tip in your split amounts. Just split the original total and add the tip after the fact. You will avoid confusion and heartache on both sides.

Tips:

This is where servers and guests seem to have the most trouble and it is easily the most controversial. The long and short of it though, is that a servers income comes entirely from tips. Yes, servers receive hourly wage. By law, servers must receive a minimum wage but in most states it usually hovers around $2 or $3. The server sees none of this as it goes entirely to taxes. Also keep in mind that the majority of the people who serve you are trying to pay for school as well as their own rent, utilities and so on. It seems people assume that their servers are young people living with their parents who pay for their college. This is generally not the case.

Your server is expecting 20% of the total bill. They are not being greedy. They did not create this number. Right or wrong, this is now the way our system works and it is factored into the business model. The business models of most restaurants do not support providing full income to its service staff. If they did your meal would probably just cost more.

It is common knowledge that certain types of people do not tip accordingly. Please understand that this is not racial stereotyping. When you and everyone you work with experience something on a daily basis it is no longer a stereotype. Whether it just comes from ignorance or apathy it is an issue. If you ask five different servers from five different restaurants who the worst tippers are I guarantee you they will have similar answers.

Please ensure that you leave a signed copy of your credit card receipt. If you don’t your server does not get a tip and that is no good. The tip is not only important because it is our livelihood, but because it is a barometer for how well we do. Most servers will agree, however, that it is a terrible barometer simply because it is so inconsistent. It is psychologically confusing in fact. You can’t help but feel bad when you do your best and it is not reflected in the gratuity.

Be nice and leave an appropriate tip. It’s important.

Damage Control:

Things go wrong. This will not change. You don’t have to go into your experience expecting them to, but that doesn’t mean you should get all bent out of shape if they do. I guarantee you that the employees of the restaurant want you to have a positive experience because it is in their best interest. That being said, if something goes wrong, help them help you. If there is an error with your food allow them to fix it and move on. If you are on the verge of death because you haven’t eaten in two days simply ask the manager or server if they could have something out to you quickly to help satiate you for the time being. It doesn’t have to be a crisis. It’s only food.

Miscellaneous:

-       Please do not use the menu as a placemat. (…unless it’s a kids menu, or it’s just that kind of restaurant)

-       If you have a small child that is prone to emitting supersonic frequencies at regularity, please make an attempt to dine earlier in the evening before peak hours or at kid friendly restaurants) 

-       Don’t expect free dessert because it’s your birthday. In fact, it’s probably good practice not to expect anything for free, ever.

-       When you order a bottle of wine.

o      Don’t act like you know more than you do. It’s embarrassing and silly.

o      Don’t smell the cork. That’s not why your server presented it to you. It just smells like cork anyways.

o      You do not taste the wine to see if you like it. It is presented to you in this fashion to determine whether the wine has gone bad.

o      Just because the wine has a screw cap does not make it cheap. Cork is mostly only necessary for aging wines and is not the always the most efficient closure.

o      Just because the wine is older, it is not necessarily better.

o      When in doubt, just ask.

-       Caesar dressing is made from anchovies.

-       Hot tea is a huge pain in the ass no matter where you go.

-       If you are particularly worried about your steak’s temperature, ask your server what that temp will look like.

-       If you have a coupon or gift certificate you should read what it says. It is not ok for you to get upset with the restaurant because you were unaware that your coupon was expired or that you could only use one per table.

- When you ask for something else every single time the server returns with the last thing you asked for, its called “one-timing”, and it damages the service flow for yourself and other guests. Try to be aware of it.

-       Chances are that you’re not as funny as you think you are. Yes we’ve heard that joke before. Don’t embarrass your server. They are not your child.

-       That being said, don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself.

Like I said before, the restaurant employees do want to show you a good time because it is in their best interests. Relax and enjoy yourself.

-Dan Kiddle